Carnival of Idiots
by perxephne
Summary: Charlotte works as a Christmas elf at 'Sanditon's Winter Wonderland' when she has a war of words with a tall, dark stranger who just happens to be her boss, one Sidney Parker. {One-shot, Modern AU}.


**Author's Note: **{AU} one-shot written for **sanditoncreative** '12 Days of Sanditon' 2019 Tumblr challenge.

Prompt: 'Winter Wonderland'.

* * *

**Carnival of Idiots**

Charlotte pulled her blue beanie hat over her dark curls, before taking a deep breath and throwing open the front door, only to be instantly assailed by a freezing wind. "Cripes," she hissed, hastily locking the door before turning and half sprinting down the garden path.

As the gate slammed shut behind her, she braced herself against the wind, before battling it the rest of the way down the pavement. Snow began to fall as she made her way towards 'Sanditon's Winter Wonderland', the front of the building draped with fairy lights and every illuminated Christmas decoration imaginable. 'Sanditon's Winter Wonderland' had only been open for a month but everyone had already fallen in love with its tacky charm and it was swiftly on its way to becoming a Sanditon institution.

Whilst this suited Charlotte's bank balance, it did not suit her dignity, but she supposed elf ears would be unflattering on anyone. Stretching a stripy red and yellow leg in front of her, she grimaced at the sight before forcing herself to rearrange her face into more amiable lines, Esther often upbraiding her for not smiling enough and putting off the punters. Sighing heavily, she then pushed the swing doors open before stepping inside, the sickeningly sweet smell of candy-canes and scented pine-cones rising up to meet her, the lobby crowded out by the gigantic Christmas tree standing in the corner, Charlotte almost blinded by the glittering tinsel swathing every branch.

Ducking into the cloakroom, she made short work of getting into the rest of her Christmas elf costume, Charlotte taking one last morose glance at her reflection before ducking back out into the lobby again. But as she did, it was only to collide into what felt like a wall, almost breaking her nose. Reeling back, hand flying to her face, she glared up at the stranger standing in front of her, his expression equally derisive.

"Would you watch where you're going?" Charlotte said through her fingers, words muffled.

The stranger leaned forwards, craning his neck. "I beg your pardon?" he asked, brow furrowing as he eyed her plastic pointed ears with perturbation.

Charlotte let go of her nose. "I said would you watch where you're going!?" she snapped, nose aching.

"Perhaps you should heed your own advice," the stranger said sarcastically, straightening up, making Charlotte suddenly realise how alarmingly tall he was.

"Well, sorry for wrinkling up your probably Savile Row suit," Charlotte said just as sarcastically, not giving herself permission to be intimidated.

"It is Savile Row, actually."

"_Wow._"

"One of your ears is askew," the stranger said abruptly, gesturing to it, before stalking off, leaving Charlotte speechless.

"I see you've met Sidney Parker, then," Esther said from behind her, making Charlotte whirl around, startled.

"Sidney Parker who?"

Esther smoothed back her amber hair, the gesture elegantly executed, belying a natural classiness Charlotte privately considered wasted on 'Sanditon's Winter Wonderland'. "Sidney Parker, our employer that's who," she said imperiously.

"_That _Sidney Parker?" Charlotte squeaked. Ever since she had moved to Sanditon three months ago, she'd heard plenty about Sidney Parker, without actually seeing hide or hair of him. He was viewed in the light of a local celebrity for turning Sanditon's financial fortunes around with his astute business acumen, but Charlotte had always imagined him to be some aging portly playboy who liked to fritter his fortune away upon eyesores like 'Sanditon's Winter Wonderland'.

"Sidney Parker who married the daughter of the richest man in town?" Esther pretended to ponder. "Yes, that one."

"Cripes."

"You must have made quite an impression on him," Esther said with a frown, "normally he doesn't deign to honour the lower orders with his attention."

"Well, I'm honoured – _not_."

"Come, Charlotte, his heart is in the right place," Esther said with one of her surprising smiles, "after all he started up 'Sanditon's Winter Wonderland' because he wanted to give back to the community."

"What, by affronting all good taste?"

Esther merely smiled again, before sashaying over to the main desk, Charlotte nervous now at the fact she had just given her boss a right mouthful. Then she gave herself a good shake, again refusing to allow herself to be intimidated. So what he called the shots? He deserved a dressing down for his lack of good manners. But as she made her way to the Grotto, she reached up and straightened her plastic ear, cursing it to kingdom come and Sidney Parker with it.

_It was a long and dark December_  
_From the rooftops I remember_  
_There was snow, white snow..._


End file.
